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My 3 year old is having problems in Nursery

Subject: My 3 year old is having problems in Nursery
Date: 9/18/2009
Message
Posted By: Kathleen Gordon

I am at my wits end with my wonderful 3 year old son. At playgroup last December I was asked to attend a meeting, they said my son had hearing problems and referred him to Prefcat so he could get other things checked out, as they thought maybe he had other problems as he wouldn't sit and eat snack, make eye contact, speak to anyone or join in group activities. I was heartbroken when this was done as before then they always said things were fine he'd had a good day everytime I picked him up. After taking him to several specialists we've been told his hearing is fine his motor development is good and his communication is a little behind and we are receiving help from a speech, language and communication therapist this support she is being given to him now he is in Nursery. My son likes to play, draw, paint, can count to 12 and knows all the letters of the alphabet. At home he asks for things and listens to me, his dad and sister (7yr old) we play laugh and learn together. Sometimes you have to tell him more than once to do something mainly because he doesn't want to do what we ask him and he sometimes gets really upset and cries out sometimes screams. At nursery he wont eat snack or sit with the other children he plays with a couple of the children but mostly does his own thing, he runs around and won't listen to instruction and today we were told he knocked 2 children over and he has no spatial awareness. Its as if he is 2 different people this is tearing me up inside because it feels like since the day playgroup found out his cousin had aspergers in the autism spectrum everyone has had it in for my little boy and everyone treats him like theres something wrong with him. My health visitor says she thinks he's just shy and acting up because he doesn't want to do what he's being asked to do but I am so worried about my son I just don't know what to do. The nursery want to have a meeting with us on Monday afternoon and I am so worried they want to kick him out of nursery. Have you any advice or what I can do to help my son.

Replies
Posted By: Claire 9/21/2009 - 9:39:44 PM

Dear Kathleen Trust your instincts on this. You have had your son examined by specialists and they didn't find anything to be concerned about. Your son is still very young and while the nursery school is trying to be professional and look out for problems, they could also be diagnosing issues which aren't really there. Children of three-years-old are just beginning to learn how to socialise and follow directions and especially if they are shy may be hesitant to join in and may prefer doing their own thing or observing from a distance. This doesn't mean they are unhappy or there is anything wrong with them. If the school is struggling to accommodate your son it may be necessary to look at other schools that are able to meet your son's needs. At three years of age your son should be having fun at school and begin learning about socialising and participating. He should not feel pressurised, and certainly should feel comfortable with his teacher and relaxed in his environment. Find out what the school's expectations are of him and if they do not feel right to you then you need to discuss this with them. Good luck and let me know how your meeting goes.

 

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