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Thank you, Claire.
In my experience I have found that if parents or care givers are unwilling to deal honestly with the reality of the home situation, then it is very difficult to help the child to heal or change their behavior, working as a family unit. Sometimes I have taken the route of tough love with parents because the child so desperately needs their support.
If the willingness is absent then I have to proceed working with the child because they are the primary focus of all of the dynamics involved. I provide the tools of positive parenting for the parents, but if they remain resistant or do not engage, then forcing them will only create more anger and hostility. The child will not benefit from these interactions. Watching all of this unfold, I maintain the child as my primary focus.
Here is a good article on parenting and stress:
http://www.everydayhealth.com/family-health/parenting-and-managing-stress.aspx?xid=nl_EverydayHealthEmotionalHealth_20100416
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Early Intervention Initiatives Directed at Bullying and Violence in our Schools: School systems must implement and fully communicate a "no tolerance policy" in order to be successful in stopping bullying. The consequences of a bully's behavior or any hostile act must be placed in writing and provided to each student and parent by the school administration. In many schools, to eliminate violent behavior, they are scheduling regular communications and problem solving meetings with students, parents and community members to discuss alternatives to bullying types of behavior and provide a framework for dealing with a child who does bully or become aggressive toward others. Some schools have implemented social educational classes where issues of bullying are discussed in conjunction with topics about on-line predators, respecting oneself and others, positive social interactions, and civility in all environments. Victimization is included in programs presented at all grade levels. Mental health and social service professionals visit the schools to talk with kids in groups that also include parents, teachers and school administrators. Parent, teacher and administrator training on identifying the signs of bullying or hostile behavior is provided and typically made a requirement for attending and working within the school system. Early intervention is a major and key component within the educational system. A designated support group of professionals including school psychologists, guidance counselors, nurses, community mental health clinicians and social services workers is established to make referrals of kids who do engage in inappropriate or unacceptable behaviors as well as their victims. Regular written communications and updates on the topics of aggressive behaviors, hostility and bullying are sent to parents and care givers along with details of what to look for in a bully and in a victim's behavioral change. With early intervention programs in place, the number of abuse cases and violence occurring here in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, including school based offenses, has dropped between 2008 and 2009. This is reported to all residents as part of Governor Rendell's initiatives to reduce violence and abuse in the homes and in our schools. Additionally, the governor's task force on school violence and child abuse has worked to make more trained professionals available to families and to our schools. The success of these initiatives and programs is measured semi-annually and provided by the governor’s office for comprehensive critique and review. I hope this overview is helpful in addressing some of your interests. Thank you. Pamela J. Lindsay, A.L.M. http://pawprintsperspectives.webs.com
Copyright 2010 by Pamela J. Lindsay, A.L.M. All rights reserved.
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