Hi Claire, Our son has been  diagnosed with type 1 Diabetes, which is of course a huge shock to us!  He is only 5 years old!  How could this happen?  He is now totally insulin dependent, and gets 3 insulin injections a day and in between it is all the finger pricking to check his blood glucose.  Our lives has changed completely.  I think at this stage, our son is coping much better then we his parents.  We are fighting like crazy!  I dont have patience with my 3-year-old and keep screaming at her and I can see she is very confused - but so am I!  I must admit, I am finding it very difficult to accept this, all the needles are freaking me out, I am busy losing it! My husband is also stressed. He keeps telling me that I dont insert the needle correctly, I dont do the blood glucose correctly..... we take turns to do the shots, so that we both know what we are doing, but when it is my turn, he stands next to me and treats me like a child and passes comments......  He even drew me a picture on how to insert the port!!!  I was so upset about this!   I know our stress levels are high now coz of all this being new, but I have faith that in time, once we get to know al the do's and dont's and carbs counting, it will get better.  But I am realy starting to loose it!  I am a nervous wreck, the fighting is making it worse!  He even went so faras blaming me for the diabetes, coz I love baking and therefor there is always something nice in the kitchen for the kids to eat...... I realy dont know anymore how to deal with all of this, if I look at my son, my heart is aching.  I heard there is a diabetes support group for kids and would like to join them, maybe this will help us to understand and to deal with everthing and the emotions? Or should we rather go see someone to help us cope?  I just cant take the fighting anymore!  How do I get my husband to understand that I am learning as he is..... We are supposed to stand together, not turn on each other. Thanx for just listening.  I hope you have a bit of advice for me!

Thank you for your email.  I understand how shocked you are feeling and how your lives have been turned around. Be patient and give yourselves time to process the news and adjust to your new routine. Take a deep breath and take baby steps. You are feeling like you are losing it because the diabetes is something you cannot control and have no power over. Remember though that your son can lead a normal life with diabetes and will soon be able to administer his own insulin. Focus on all the positive things in your life and family and choose to take control of managing the diabetes rather than letting it destroy your family. You will be giving the disease so much more power than it has if you let it come between you all. Blame can only be apportioned to someone if they intentionally meant to cause harm. No one is to blame for your son's diabetes.   Stop fighting. You need to support each other and maintain your normal routine especially for your three-year-old, otherwise she will start acting out as children often blame themselves when there is stress in a family.  I recommend that you and your husband visit a counsellor for a few sessions so you can express your fears and anger and avoid saying something you'll both regret. Go out to dinner with your husband and explain to him that having him peer over your shoulder when you are trying to give your son insulin is making you feel anxious, and untrustworthy and you would appreciate it if he could leave the room when you are doing it so you can build up your own confidence. Also look at other ways of administering insulin such as insulin pens. In all areas of our life we look to others for help and this is a time when turning to others for support and help can prevent your family from falling apart and give you helpful tools in managing the disease. Also research as much as you can on the subject so that you are an expert on childhood diabetes. Remember information is power. Try the following sites and organisations for help and support: The SA Diabetes Association on 011 447 6265.    http://www.accfin.co.za/diabakids/diabakidssa.htm  http://www.ptadiabetes.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=5&Itemid=30 If you need help managing your child's diabetes, call Dessa at                031 266 1280         or                082 465 6071         for a list of of diabetes educators in your area. Let me know how you all are doing and remember what you said, "We are supposed to stand together, not turn on each other." Best wishes