Thank you for your email. As parents it is hard to know what to do when our children become interested in sex.
Your 13 year old son is becoming a man and needs information about what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour with regards to sex, including knowledge with regards to laws that exist to protect innocent children from predators.
As I advised another mom we need to be talking about sex to our children, even if they don't ask us. Bring up topics in the car when you drive if you find sitting down with your child awkward. Use opportunities such as television programmes and articles in newspapers to discuss topics in a matter of fact way. I will be posting an article on how to talk to your children about sex soon. Research shows that children who learn about sex from their parents are less likely to engage in high risk behaviour and are more likely to abstain from sex until they are older. So information is power.
When talking to him it is important not to shame him as he is merely following his natural curiosity. Reassure him that there is nothing wrong with trying on panties but that it is something he should do in private and not to take pictures of himself, with the temptation of sending them to friends or posting them on the net. Explain to him that once a photo is on the cyber highway it is there forever, and in 20 years time a future employer may be able to find it. Children should treat their cell phones and internet as the front page of the newspaper for all to see,
Explain to him that viewing pornography is illegal and that you his parents could be held accountable for him having access to it. He needs to know that the woman he is looking at is someone's daughter who is most likely a victim of sexual abuse, which is why she is involved in pornography. While it may be stimulating for him he should be learning to respect women and know that having a loving relationship with a woman is about more than just sex.
Good luck.