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MY CHILD IS GAY
Question

My daughter is 19 years old and we just found out that she is a lesbian. She wants us to be understanding but our heads are spinning. Please help us we don't know how to deal with this.

Question

Question

Thank you for your email. I understand how shocked you are feeling right now.

The hardest part about finding out your child’s sexual orientation is having to give up on some of your traditional dreams and expectations that you may have had for her since she was a little girl. It is not easy, so give yourself time to adjust to the news and mourn the loss of your dreams.
 
This is your baby girl that you love for so many reasons. You have raised her for nineteen years and have grown to know her. There are so many wonderful aspects that define who she is, and it is important to focus on all of these aspects moving forward, rather than merely focusing on her sexual orientation. 
 
Having information about your child’s sexual orientation is not easy for any parent to handle, but you should choose not to allow this information to affect the loving parent/child bond you have with your daughter. You love your daughter because she is your child. Focus on nurturing the loving bond you have with her without allowing her personal relationships to interfere in the relationship you have built up over the past nineteen years. She still needs you to be her parents and she will need your support now more than ever, especially if she has to deal with prejudices from others.
 
If I can offer you further support, or if you would like to come and see me to talk about your feelings, please do not hesitate to contact me at 083 457 3667.
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