Dear Claire Thank you for a wonderful & inspired site. It makes me feel proud to be a mom to my 6 year old.  I have no issues with my little boy however I need your advice with the following problem that I unintentionally created: I am a single mom-always have been.  When  I was 12 weeks pregnant, my  boyfriend wanted me to have an abortion & I refused, so he left. He has totally disappeared & I have had no contact with him since that day!  Around 2 my son started asking for his dad & I told him that his dad had died before he was born & now my son adores this man, whom he has never seen.  I know it was wrong to tell him that but I thought  he was too little at the time, to tell him the truth.  Now I am afraid that a family member may tell him & I will end up being the bad person. I am not sure of how he will react to that. How do I approach the subject & tell my son the truth about his dad?

Thank you for your email and kind words about my site. I understand how frightening the thought of telling your son the truth feels right now. Your instincts are right in that your son should be told that his father is alive by you. I would recommend that you discuss what you would like to say to your son with a professional child psychologist who can help you prepare for all of your son's questions and possible reactions. The child psychologist will also be able to help him work through his feelings in play therapy, as well as provide you with guidelines to help him.   I wish you luck and let me know how you both are doing. .   Best wishes