Good Day Claire I  real like the  new site. Inspiring! I am feeling  bad, guilty and unreasonable and  don't  feel as if there is a  light at the end of the tunnel. I  had a terrible weekend because  hubby  broke his promise to us ( me  & the kids ) again. He  goes out EVERY Friday night after work for drinks , and is coming home later. 2 weeks ago  I  told him I planned to  take our daughter to a movie.  I asked him to collect our son  from crèche  and they  could meet us for dinner after the movie. He agreed…. BUT DEEP IN MY HEART I WAS EXPECTING DISAPPOINTMENT AGAIN …. Like so many times before. His mom fetched  both  kids. I fetched my  daughter from her and we went to the movies. After the movie ended  I  phoned him to  find out if they  were at the restaurant yet but he was with his work colleagues still having drinks. He finally arrived one and a half hours after I called him. He's not a BAD dad  but  I feel like he doesn't care  how this  affects us. I feel worthless  that he can do this all the time, without remorse.  My  daughter is  beginning to  say daddy tells lies because  she can tell the time now.   I told him that his words mean nothing and even wrote him a letter which he threw  in the bin. This morning I asked if we could talk about it and  he  told me that there is nothing to talk about  because he  didn't  do anything wrong? I am at my wits end…. How can he be like this? Please give me some insight because I feel down today. Thanks

Thank you for your email and kind words about my site. I understand how angry you feel when your husband makes plans to meet you and then let’s you down.   Part of the reason why you may be feeling so angry is that you rely on your husband to fulfill certain expectations on a Friday night and you are disappointed when your expectations are not met. Secondly, you may feel that his actions mean that he doesn’t care about you and the children, while he probably perceives his ‘night out’  as a break from working hard and providing for his family.   In order to facilitate change it will be necessary to communicate your needs in a different way. Try to arrange a dinner date at a restaurant when you are both calm and can talk. Give him an opportunity to express his needs and explain why he feels he has to go out for drinks on a Friday night. Tell him how you feel and what you need from him. Try not to criticize him. Also try to explain how the children feel when he makes a promise and then lets them down. If he expresses a need for some time for himself then you should negotiate a plan you both agree on so you do not end up with unfulfilled expectations. Also arrange some 'me time' for yourself. Arrange a day, say Sunday that is family day, where the whole family does something fun together.   Whatever you and your husband agree on it is important that you put your children’s needs first by ensuring that they can have a fun relaxing time on a Friday night without watching their parents argue, and that you model respect and trust for each other.   I hope this advice helps and that you and your husband can communicate a plan you both are excited about.