Dear claire My 23 month old son is saying the word naughty to express his anger and frustration.    I feel guilty because he has heard it from us at home, We told him a few times in the past that he is naughty when he misbehaves, and my in laws used the word a lot when he was younger, so he picked it up.  How do I get him to stop saying it, or is it ok for him to say it since he doesn’t have a big enough vocabulary yet and saying that word seems to help him express his anger. Thank you

Thank you for your email. I understand your concern. As you said he learnt the word ‘naughty’ from the adults around him and he is associating his feelings of anger with the word naughty, because he may have been told he was being naughty in the past when in fact he was probably acting out because he was feeling angry .I encourage parents not to label their children because children will live the labels they are given whether the labels are accurate or not. Having said this please do not feel guilty, You did the best you could with the information you had.   As his vocabulary is still developing it is important to teach him the correct word for everything including his feelings. Next time he uses the word ‘naughty’ and you can clearly see that he is angry. Acknowledge his feelings by saying I can see you’re very angry right now. Try to eliminate the word ‘naughty’ from your vocabulary. He will soon begin using new words to express himself and you will have empowered him with a large vocabulary so he can express himself accurately and communicate clearly.        Best wishes