Your daughter has just experienced 2 losses one after the other, her teacher and the assistant, and she is mourning and grieving for them, in the same way we would grieve if someone had died. She doesn’t understand why her teacher and the assistant have left, and she is probably afraid that you are going to leave her as well, or that she may be replaced by the new baby, that is why she is so attached to you at the moment. You are not responsible for the loss she is feeling so don’t be hard on yourself.
Your little one just needs time, patience, and reassurance, to mourn her loss, and attach to her new teacher. She already seems to be attaching to one of the assistants. You can help her by making her feel safe and secure. Tell her that you love her and will never leave her, and that she is your first special baby and no other child can take her place in the family or in your heart. Hopefully her teacher did explain to her why she was leaving and you could maybe clarify the reason for her leaving. If the teacher did not tell your daughter why she was leaving, then tell her a story about how her teacher had to move to a new house faraway from school, and was very sad to leave all her precious children at school, and that she misses them very much, as much as they miss her. She has asked a new kind teacher to come and look after her children, as she can’t be there. Acknowledge her feelings of sadness, and reassure her that you will not leave her.
Ask her new teacher and the assistant at school your daughter has attached to, to help you reassure her and make her feel safe. The moment she feels safe and secure she will settle down. If she needs to be with one teacher during the day, then ask that teacher to help you make her feel secure by not just walking off, but telling your daughter that she is going to the toilet and ask her to wait outside or go with her.
As she is showing separation anxiety she also needs to be able to attach to you when she is with you. Give her lots of attention when you get home to make her feel safe and secure. Spend special time with her bonding, and ask dad to help you with chores, or do them when she is sleeping. It will also help her if she can snuggle with you at night as that is a way she can attach to you. Speak to your boss and arrange to come in a bit later for a week, so you can help settle your daughter at school in the mornings. Ensure you are always on time when collecting her.
It may also be beneficial to take her to your paediatrician for a general check up. Try not to mention her new brother for a while as she tries to settle down at school. Be calm and in control when dealing with her as she will sense your anxiety, and maintain her routine. Consistency helps children feel safe. She should settle down soon especially if the staff at school make a special effort to make her feel safe and secure. If she doesn’t settle down by the end of the year please let me know.
Good luck! Let me know how you both are doing.