Thank you for your email. I understand you want to give your son the best you can, and it looks like you’re doing a good job. The most important developmental aspect for a 3 year old is learning to socialise. If you don’t have him enrolled in a nursery school, you must enroll him for next year. He needs to learn how to get along with other children his age. It is very important that he learns how to share, wait his turn and follow instructions.
As you said it is very important not to push him by involving him in too many activities. Too much pressure at home can make children apathetic and disinterested when they get to school. It is vital that he has ample time for free play which is vital for creativity and increasing IQ. Chatting to him about his environment, reading to him, and taking him to interesting places on the weekends is sufficient. Also include some physical activity, even if it’s walking around the zoo talking about animals, or playing soccer with dad.
Limit his T.V. time to an hour a day, and try to sit with him when he is watching T.V. so you can discuss what he is watching.If you would like a more detailed plan I can email you one. You are also welcome to come and see me.You are the greatest influence in your son’s life. Ensure the time you spend together is not only instructional but fun too, so he has lots of good memories when he is older.
You gave me some good advice for my 3 year old son. He speaks quite well, and has calmed down because I stopped smacking him. I lock him in the bathroom for a minute if he misbehaves. I’m still reading to him every night, and playing him CD nursery rhymes. I want to enhance his knowledge, but I don’t want to push him at the same time. What else can I do ? Please tell me what the next step is. He will be starting nursery school next year, so I want to him to be more involved in reading, etc. He knows his rhymes, alphabets, numbers, but won’t say them to us. He sings them to himself in his own time. He goes for speech & drama. Can I bring him to you for an assessment, as I want to be on the right track with him. Looking forward to your response.
Congratulations on not smacking your son anymore. I am pleased to hear that when you met his needs his behaviour “calmed down”. I would not recommend locking him in the bathroom, rather try to reason with him, and if absolutely necessary remove one of his favourite toys as punishment. Do allow him to earn the toy back for good behaviour at a later stage.
You are doing a lot to stimulate him, and he will enjoy school next year. He does not need anymore in the way of stimulation except having you talk to him about different things. You are his greatest teacher and you can teach him lots of interesting facts about his environment. The one on one interaction also enhances his self esteem, and teaches him good listening skills.
I do not assess children and do not recommend assessment for such a young child who is developing normally. There are very few tests in SA which are designed to accurately measure South African pre -schoolers. Also steer away from labeling your child.Ultimately your aim should be to raise a happy passionate man who is fulfilling his dream and has good inter personal relationships, than an unhappy over achiever who does not enjoy his work, because he did it all to please his mom. He could then resent you later on in life.Keep up the good work!
I have a small problem with my 3 year old son. He resents his dad. He hits him and says he doesn’t love him. I always try and encourage him, but it doesn’t seem to work. I have to do things with him. He refuses to play with his dad. My husband is hurt over this. I have been talking to my son about his dad, but he won’t listen.
I am sorry to hear that your son does not feel comfortable with his dad. Unfortunately you cannot make your son play with his dad, as there is a reason he feels the way he does. Forcing, or reprimanding him will not foster a warm loving relationship between them.
Your son appears to be very angry and is directing his anger at his dad. Try to determine why he feels so angry. The only way the relationship can change is for your husband to be patient, resilient, and loving. Your husband has to foster a positive connection with him. This can be done by taking an interest in his daily activities. Talking to him about his feelings. Telling him how much he loves him and how special he is to him. How proud he is of him just for being his son. Sharing some of his interests with his son, like sports, cars etc.
Your role is to be supportive of their relationship, and allow dad to initiate activities. Role model positive interactions with his dad. Good luck! With patience and love your son can become more comfortable with his dad.
Thank you so much. Your advice is working. I let my husband and son go out together, and it's working perfectly. I cannot thank you enough. My son wants to go for swimming, monkeynastics, and doesn’t want to leave speech & drama. These are all on different days at school. Is this okay?? He still follows a routine at home and is full of energy when I get home , after having his 2-3 hours sleep. I still spend time playing or teaching him in the afternoons for about half an hour. Do you think it would be pressurising for him??
I am so pleased to hear your husband and son are bonding.As your son is only 3 years old, one or two extra mural activities is sufficient. I know that during swimming season, it seems like they have too many extra murals. However, I view swimming as a necessity. Just ensure that once swimming stops, your son is only doing one or two extra murals a week.
With the advances in medical science, your son could possibly live to 100, so he still has 97 years to try all the different extra murals. There is no rush. Be aware of over stimulating him and possible burn out at a young age.Remember children should be engaged in free play for almost the same amount of time as they are sleeping. Try to also include play dates with a friend occasionally, and ensure his afternoons are entirely devoted to relaxing.There is no need to teach him in the afternoons if he has been at school all morning.Good luck!