Dear Claire I am so glad to have found your website and I hope that you can help me. I am 29 year old mother, with sons aged 7 and 2.My problem is my husband can't get along with the kids especially the 7 year old.They are constantly fighting over little things and I have also reached a stage where I cannot leave him alone with them for even 30 minutes.He is also very quick to discipline the boys (physically) and I feel and believe that a child can still be disciplined in other ways than to smack or hit them. Unfortunately he does not agree. At times when we are in public places like malls, church or parties he expects the boys to sit still. I really feel that he is getting out of hand and he is too much of a perfectionist, and I really do not want to compromise my children to that extent. I tried talking to him on several occasions, but he does not want to listen or change.Please help me, I have run out of options.

Thank you for your email. I understand how frustrating it can be when your husband won't listen to reason. You are a very perceptive mom, and I totally agree with you. You need to protect your boys at all costs. Physical discipline is not an option. Your husband obviously needs to feel in control all the time, and appears to have difficulty expressing his feelings. He needs to find someone he can talk to about his feelings, so that he does not take his anger out on the children. You also need to put your foot down with him, and refuse to accept any behaviour from him that you feel is detrimental to your children. Trust your instincts more. If it doesn't feel right act on it. Your children have to come first. I can send you a more detailed plan of how to go about this. Good luck and continue looking out for your boys.