Thank you for your email. I understand how helpless you are feeling, but it is never too late to turn things around.
The hardest challenge for all dads is being able to provide for your family in all areas, financial, emotional, spiritual, and still find time for yourself. The good news is your children adore you and cherish every minute you spend with them.
By putting your family at the top of your list the way you would a work issue helps you to focus on them. Wake up every day and decide what small positive thing you can do as a father to improve your relationship with your children, and especially your son. There are so many things you can do which only take a minute or two, but which mean the world to your children. For example you may decide to take them to school one morning if you don't usually. Have breakfast with them. Come home early to have dinner with them. Phone them to find out how school, a sports game went. Phone them to tell them you're on your way home and really excited to see them. Send them an email telling them how proud you are of them. Hold each of them for ten minutes, every day, and tell them how much you love them, and how proud you are of them. With three children that will only take 30 minutes, and you will actually see them beam and grow with love and self esteem.
Ask your children questions about their friends, sports, interests, and really listen. Don't get into an argument with them when they are telling you how they feel. Tell them about things you have been doing at work, crack jokes. Play sports and rough and tumble games with them in a non competitive way.
At the moment you are the most important male in your son's life and he will role model himself on you, so he needs to see you doing positive things, like being kind to his mother, helping him if he has a problem. Arrange a special activity with your son on the weekend. All children love to do something special with dad on the weekends.
You also need to take an interest in your sons school work. Help him when you have the time, and support him. Don't shout at him and criticize him when he fails, but rather assist him by being patient and offering to get him additional help if he needs it. Tell him about your school experiences and how you coped with problems in a positive way. Speak to his teacher, and tell him/her you are committed to helping your son, and that you need a plan from the teacher, so that you can work together in a positive way to help him.
You can contact me on 083 457 3667 and we could set up a detailed plan for your son. I am also offering phone consultations now. Good luck! You are a dad who cares, and I am sure you can turn things around. Let me know how it is going.